11-25-2012, 04:52 PM
i found the poem to be equally utopian.
in general it's feel over wordy
Some want their names on a piece of land
so i'd take a look at what you can remove while leaving the essence of the poem alive. the content needs to be really fresh because of the subject matter. but a good effort so far. i think it needs a strong edit to cut out any clutter, then you'll be able to see the wood fro trees
thanks for the read.
in general it's feel over wordy
Some want their names on a piece of land
so i'd take a look at what you can remove while leaving the essence of the poem alive. the content needs to be really fresh because of the subject matter. but a good effort so far. i think it needs a strong edit to cut out any clutter, then you'll be able to see the wood fro trees
thanks for the read.