11-24-2012, 04:13 AM
the first lines of the first stanza did draw me in ..tho i do have to agree with billy that "As if waiting for unruly demise" is weak
me other problem is 2nd stanza 2nd line "Climb, climb, climb" for me is a poetical cheat lol i'd rather see another line
tho i will say the overall 'samness' of some lines IMO did add to the poems theme of drudgery an sameness that gets you down an tired
me other problem is 2nd stanza 2nd line "Climb, climb, climb" for me is a poetical cheat lol i'd rather see another line
tho i will say the overall 'samness' of some lines IMO did add to the poems theme of drudgery an sameness that gets you down an tired