Not out

[cidermaid]

[quote='cidermaid' pid='106299' dateline='1353140214']
For James - Not out!


high cidermaid, the poem specially the latter part has a lot of sorrow in the lines and there are many good ones but i'm struggling to get a grip on the thing. i see the greed and the loss but i can't connect the dots. wish i could have been of better use

thanks for the read.

Hi Billy...thanks for taking the time with this one...not surprised you could not connect the dots. I had known that i had been too personally involved with this one, but from the comments it is obviously more of a mess than i had realised. If i was going to put up a poem for serious critique I prob would have chosen the 1930's woman or the pantoum and not this one. (This poem sort of arrived on this page by accident / by means of launch from a side discussion).
Thinking on this whole subject I thought it might make a good discussion: to view how we can keep our poetry real and passionate and yet keep the overly personal / emotional from making it incomprehensible......unless there is a thread on this already, in which case where is this?