Not out

[Leanne]

Some beautiful symbolism here, I'm going to read it a few more times to see what I get out of it -- though I find myself wishing it were in Serious Critique so I could give you really in-depth feedback (I'm never satisfied, dammit). I would love to work with you specifically on meter, which is so important in a structured, rhyming poem like this -- I can tell you have a natural feel for it but it needs smoothing out.

I will be back later today when I have a little more time.