11-18-2012, 11:22 PM
This poem had a nice flow which you mostly managed to keep, although for me I did have a stumble in a couple of places.
I think the advise above from Rose is good and I agree with what she mentioned, esp about condensing some of the lines and making the words work harder for you. Overall a well expressed and versed effort which I enjoyed reading. thanks for sharing.
I think the advise above from Rose is good and I agree with what she mentioned, esp about condensing some of the lines and making the words work harder for you. Overall a well expressed and versed effort which I enjoyed reading. thanks for sharing.

