11-14-2012, 07:17 AM
I like some of the lines and images here (not critiquing just sharing too):
...like a small girl left waiting alone outside in the cold after her school has closed for the day and all her classmates have long since been picked up and taken back home to the warm embrace of a family.
(That's painful, and I think most can relate at one time or another)
As I stare into the night, white with falling snow
(I'm a sucker for the way this is phrased (the night/white...and the sounds of white with)...very nice
Thanks for sharing it.
...like a small girl left waiting alone outside in the cold after her school has closed for the day and all her classmates have long since been picked up and taken back home to the warm embrace of a family.
(That's painful, and I think most can relate at one time or another)
As I stare into the night, white with falling snow
(I'm a sucker for the way this is phrased (the night/white...and the sounds of white with)...very nice
Thanks for sharing it.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson