11-14-2012, 06:03 AM
Thank you both for your suggestions.
(11-13-2012, 06:16 AM)penguin Wrote: Hello Rose Love. I think the poem has a lot of charm. Soft-spoken me seems to chime with tippy toes.Yes, I think I remember now why I put "tippy-toes" instead of "tip-toes," which refers back to the experience I had that inspired the poem when someone called me "soft-spoken." I'm a bit...or maybe a lot according to some...childish and that immature bit was a part of me in the poem.
(11-13-2012, 06:16 AM)penguin Wrote: What I would suggest is that "Soft - spoken me" becomes the title line and that the 2 opening lines of the 4th verse are compressed into one - "And the natural flow." Then you'll have 5 verses of 4 lines each and the symmetrical side of you will weep with joy.Lol. Hmm...I wonder where that side of me disappears to whenever I write a poem. I'm usually pretty lost when it comes to punctuation and line count/separation when writing poems. I just try to force punctuation or a certain number of lines so that there will be symmetry, but the other side of me always says "No, that doesn't feel right." Sooo...that's the side that always wins. Or not "wins" per se, but I'm so indecisive I just quit trying to decide how to put it and just leave it.