11-13-2012, 06:16 AM
Hello Rose Love. I think the poem has a lot of charm. Soft-spoken me seems to chime with tippy toes. What I would suggest is that "Soft - spoken me" becomes the title line and that the 2 opening lines of the 4th verse are compressed into one - "And the natural flow." Then you'll have 5 verses of 4 lines each and the symmetrical side of you will weep with joy.
Angels
flitting
in bolts of light
to an accident scene - it seems short of a syllable or two, this verse, somewhere, probably line 3
White light
with a golden hue - is this the same light referred to in previous verse?
held up at the foot
of your grief - that's very good
Angels
flitting
in bolts of light
to an accident scene - it seems short of a syllable or two, this verse, somewhere, probably line 3
White light
with a golden hue - is this the same light referred to in previous verse?
held up at the foot
of your grief - that's very good
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.