Love is not dismayed
#3
(11-12-2012, 03:32 AM)rowens Wrote:  probably "mild critique" would be a better place.

'I love her this much. There is no "this" much
Time has beheld that which no fallacy can display
The power of it encompasseth the entirety...'

Where are the periods supposed to be? (Periods can't contain the sentences?). Is 'Time' uppercase because it's a new sentence, so the sentence-thoughts are "Time has beheld that which no fallacy can display. The power of it encompasseth the entirety of worldly phenomenon."? 'Phenomenon' feels fine, it assumes all that's of the world as a whole.
And the logic is that time, or Time, is ever present, past and present and future, and has a power that can't judge what happens. So there are no true mistakes, and no true love; all is now. To feel things, to think things, to do things. Nothing has the power to make you not feel and experience love. Who cares if love doesn't exist: it is made to exist by people, when they share this thing called 'love'.

And there might be the idea: Love is not dis-made.

it gets very wordy-fancy sounding. but it can be understood.
Thanks for the critique and for moving the post.

It may not be correct of me, but I seldom use a period at the end of the poem line, and I tend to only use a Capital on the first word of the next line to show it is a new sentence.

Yes, I did mean the entirety of the world.

Now for the logic. I agree on the time thing in a way, but it may be that time itself is also a mental construct. It could be that love is the ultimate creative force, but that is not the same as the love we create and share.

Interesting thoughts. It may well be that love cannot be dismayed or dis-made.
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Messages In This Thread
Love is not dismayed - by Mayflow - 11-12-2012, 02:01 AM
RE: Love is not dismayed - by rowens - 11-12-2012, 03:32 AM
RE: Love is not dismayed - by Mayflow - 11-12-2012, 04:35 AM
RE: Love is not dismayed - by Rose Love - 11-12-2012, 05:18 AM
RE: Love is not dismayed - by Mayflow - 11-12-2012, 05:41 AM
RE: Love is not dismayed - by billy - 11-12-2012, 09:03 AM
RE: Love is not dismayed - by Mayflow - 11-13-2012, 07:31 AM



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