11-10-2012, 12:04 AM
Thanks, Billy.
"clever when tied into the line above but the last three lines of this verse don't really work when it comes to analgesia"
Well, I dunno about that. I think "Vitamin" is weak but I use Analgesia in a wide sense - not only relief from pain, but anxiety and any contemplation of an alternative lifestyle. We must all be good consumers.
I only find trouble with the metre in verse 4, particularly line 1. Previously, I had "In theatre emergency poses" which I prefer but I convinced myself it was too long.
"clever when tied into the line above but the last three lines of this verse don't really work when it comes to analgesia"
Well, I dunno about that. I think "Vitamin" is weak but I use Analgesia in a wide sense - not only relief from pain, but anxiety and any contemplation of an alternative lifestyle. We must all be good consumers.
I only find trouble with the metre in verse 4, particularly line 1. Previously, I had "In theatre emergency poses" which I prefer but I convinced myself it was too long.
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.