10-29-2012, 12:22 PM
hello umbleets!
(10-28-2012, 03:30 PM)umbleets Wrote:Without meter or focused, developed ideas, this feels like a free-write or an exercise more than an actual piece. The movement is just too rapid; you can deliver some good punches, but the effect is not lasting because there is little to connect the beginning to the end. Using tighter transitions would work wonders for the piece
Ive got bubble gum thoughts and sneaker dreams
A mouth full of thoughts running on high beams
Black and bruised windows, the fog infested kind
A penny for your thoughts, a dollar to change your mind
Discount all your beliefs, mark up the pleasures of the wrong
Put right into your pocket, the cost to tag along
Lint and silly string are treasures beyond gold
Nonsense and Blah makes up the shit we're told
If its thought of and serves a purpose, convenience becomes the proof
Question the sanity of everything or the insane becomes the truth
Every one is infected so spread some sparkle with your germs
Let your mind do your molding, live your life on your own minds terms
Written only for you to consider.

