Life of Blah
#4
hello umbleets!
(10-28-2012, 03:30 PM)umbleets Wrote:  

Ive got bubble gum thoughts and sneaker dreams

A mouth full of thoughts running on high beams

Black and bruised windows, the fog infested kind

A penny for your thoughts, a dollar to change your mind

Discount all your beliefs, mark up the pleasures of the wrong

Put right into your pocket, the cost to tag along

Lint and silly string are treasures beyond gold

Nonsense and Blah makes up the shit we're told

If its thought of and serves a purpose, convenience becomes the proof

Question the sanity of everything or the insane becomes the truth

Every one is infected so spread some sparkle with your germs

Let your mind do your molding, live your life on your own minds terms
Without meter or focused, developed ideas, this feels like a free-write or an exercise more than an actual piece. The movement is just too rapid; you can deliver some good punches, but the effect is not lasting because there is little to connect the beginning to the end. Using tighter transitions would work wonders for the piece
Written only for you to consider.
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Messages In This Thread
Life of Blah - by umbleets - 10-28-2012, 03:30 PM
RE: Life of Blah - by just mercedes - 10-29-2012, 07:27 AM
RE: Life of Blah - by billy - 10-29-2012, 11:17 AM
RE: Life of Blah - by Philatone - 10-29-2012, 12:22 PM



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