10-28-2012, 01:06 AM
I like the narrative in the beginning. I think you could have shortened the rest into a few strong lines otherwise it seems a little like a rant to me. Well done overall!
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First Poem
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First Poem - by CoffeeSpoons - 10-18-2012, 09:26 AM
RE: First Poem - by billy - 10-18-2012, 09:41 AM
RE: First Poem - by addy - 10-18-2012, 09:53 AM
RE: First Poem - by CoffeeSpoons - 10-19-2012, 06:14 AM
RE: First Poem - by billy - 10-19-2012, 07:01 AM
RE: First Poem - by CoffeeSpoons - 10-19-2012, 07:21 AM
RE: First Poem - by TwistedAngel - 10-19-2012, 07:31 AM
RE: First Poem - by vrgd - 10-28-2012, 01:06 AM
RE: First Poem - by CoffeeSpoons - 10-30-2012, 03:11 AM
RE: First Poem - by just mercedes - 10-30-2012, 07:13 AM
RE: First Poem - by billy - 10-30-2012, 08:36 AM
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