Saved by Sin

[billy]

i see you tried to foramt the poem.

Code:

you need to use the [ind] tags.

i think if you broke it into stanza the rhyme scheme would pop ( read better) i did an example but just as a suggestion to take on board or ignore.

Waiting for an absolution

[ind] A remission of my sin

Release me from punishment

[ind] For there is something more within i like the logic and common sense of this line



By no way do I claim

[ind] Nor will I ever, to be a saint not sure if a comma is the right thing maybe a ;

Far from flawless

[ind] Perfect I ain't



All of my mistakes

[ind] My entire aberration

Part of the process

[ind] A live and learn collaboration



Knowledge isn't just power

[ind] Its strength, to say the least

Ignorance isn't bliss

[ind] Its the belly of the beast four lines of cliche, the concept works but the wording weakens it.

The beast being damnation

[ind] That feeds on the naive

My sins have saved me

[ind] I believe this last line feels paradoxical. and is full of ambiguity it gives me something to think about and in doing so keeps think of the poem, it works well.

i never expected what was delivered which is refreshing.

thanks for the read.