10-26-2012, 07:01 AM
you killed a comma 
Michaela was gone Eddie now stared down at his dad
other than that it was pretty damn good. the story was complete and left open for the next victim, though i'm not sure victim is the right term. at the end i saw the wings as being helpful. the story was about allowing us to see the things we really want, are the things we already have. a solid piece of writing todd, an excellent solid piece of writing. .
thanks for the read.
Michaela was gone Eddie now stared down at his dad
other than that it was pretty damn good. the story was complete and left open for the next victim, though i'm not sure victim is the right term. at the end i saw the wings as being helpful. the story was about allowing us to see the things we really want, are the things we already have. a solid piece of writing todd, an excellent solid piece of writing. .
thanks for the read.