Heaven is a Havana

[popeye]

Heaven is a Havana

It began when Isabella,
Seeking trade to prop up Spain,
Sent Columbus to the Indies,
Herbs and spices to obtain.

Sailed off in the wrong direction,
Navigation very poor,
He completely missed East Indies,
But found San Salvador!

So this wiley Itie sailor,
Bluffed and kept his cool,
And called it the 'West!' Indies,
The world he tried to fool.

And he brought back herbs and spices,
Like you would not believe!
Potatoes and tobacco,
Too exotic to conceive.

The Micks refined the potato,
They grew it in the mud!
And when they honoured one of their sons,
They always called him Spud.

But it was the weed they call tobacco,
That took the world by storm!
A good hard hit of nicotine,
Could make one feel quite warm.

And from this ethereal smoke screen,
Emerged a glowing star!
It eclipsed the humble potatoe,
All class, was the cigar!

Made famous in Havana,
Packed and rolled on a virgins thigh!
Fidel and Che Guevera,
Enjoyed them with a sigh.

They were even enjoyed by Freud,
During one of his famous slips!
And he always had one hanging,
From between pursed lips.

But it was in the Oval Office,
Where it reached a final infamy,
When a President did beg, please,
Darling, dip it in for me!