Crust

[Todd]

This is pretty cool Alden. The poem reminds me of those textbook pictures of the earth carved into its various artificial layers. We walk upon the smallest part of the Earth's crust and assume that we understand everything we can't see. The poem seems to use that as a metaphor for how we experience time. It's nicely done.

version 1.1

It is a threshold,
not a line, --in other words it is something to pass over or through not something to follow. This works with both sides of the metaphor as time may not actually be linear either
that holds the totality
of solid earth
and ends the weightless chaos
of air. --I liked both the phrasing and contrast in these last four lines

Beneath the placid lie --much happens under the earth or out of sight. The appearance of something solid and predictable
of endless pebble pulp, --normally I wouldn't like endless here as it if eels like one too many modifiers. However, it ties into time well so I'd leave it.
dormant seas of fire--like this
carry reckless rock barges--not sure if you need rock
that collide and split--nice dual meaning of split with the break here.
this imaginary
"line."

Is this so with time? --do you need this line. It may not be a better substitute but maybe simple an "in this way" after curve. Just a thought

Does time slowly curve to meet itself again
in a(n almost) sphere,
enfolding an implacable force?--nice bringing the two streams of thought together

This fool cannot help but ask:
How long can it keep?

How long will time
last? I keep wanting to replace time with it. The parallel structure sounds better. That said, I'm resisting that suggestion because I like time last

I enjoyed the read.

Best,

Todd