Petroleum men

[Alden]

I like the earlier comment about Radiohead as these do look like song lyrics. The image flow here is strong, though I'd question if "petroleum plastic" is needed as an explanation for that stanza. The last stanza is a little disappointing... though I have no specifics, it just doesn't feel resolved. maybe the problem lies before.

Suggestions: Since this is totally a crunchy granola piece anyway, why not go full bore and call it a "meat cleaver"? I've always loved the sound of those words (just the sound... sounds cool, really concrete image)

and... maybe you could add some parentheses e e cummings style.

for example:

In this (petroleum-running)
Heart, you will find
the adoration of
Fellow (petroleum-) man

ooooh ooooh! or

In (this petroleum-running
Nation you will find
The silent) -dependence (of
The petroleum lifestyle)

Sorry if that was presumtuous, but I think playing with it a bit would be fun and could improve it.