10-13-2012, 10:55 PM
When I'm happier, I tend to make poems more accessible, and less hermetic. I hope to feel happier, of course. But it helps to get feedback of all sorts on these, where I'm using "postmodern" techniqes in a self-mocking way. I don't like so-called postmodernism. But I'm having it out with it. Thanks for wading the frustration with me a bit.
Basically what I was trying to show in this part
I have smoked these fags to the bone;
Egg-shelled my reputation
With cartoned rags, and anglo-igloos.
And I wanted so much to give in to this night.
How I wanted the warm sputters of competent love
To glue its paramount inquisitions
To the indispensable parachutes of my plight.
But they will not listen!
Those that love.
is that the speaker is living in this womb-like existence of faithfulness, and he's closed in this cold rational world of hermetic self-awareness. His lover causes his abstract intellectual words to clumsily come out in what he hopes are warm sputters that will be taken as seriously and brooded over as intensely as those of other lovers. But he can't "give in to this night", because
You cannot love only a little bit;
Because a fella has his moods.
And most is a reflex in the moment of it,
And after that,
Another mood.
Can’t you see that?
the person he's trying to talk to can't love only a little, they fall deeply in love with everyone that seduces and then leaves them. That's the logic and the effect I'm going for here.
Basically what I was trying to show in this part
I have smoked these fags to the bone;
Egg-shelled my reputation
With cartoned rags, and anglo-igloos.
And I wanted so much to give in to this night.
How I wanted the warm sputters of competent love
To glue its paramount inquisitions
To the indispensable parachutes of my plight.
But they will not listen!
Those that love.
is that the speaker is living in this womb-like existence of faithfulness, and he's closed in this cold rational world of hermetic self-awareness. His lover causes his abstract intellectual words to clumsily come out in what he hopes are warm sputters that will be taken as seriously and brooded over as intensely as those of other lovers. But he can't "give in to this night", because
You cannot love only a little bit;
Because a fella has his moods.
And most is a reflex in the moment of it,
And after that,
Another mood.
Can’t you see that?
the person he's trying to talk to can't love only a little, they fall deeply in love with everyone that seduces and then leaves them. That's the logic and the effect I'm going for here.