Bar stand

[billy]

Hope - less romantic, good word play breaks the cliche
more desperate.
The distance between
love and sensation bridged
only by a G&T mile. good way of showing drink dulling her senses

Flash- your Kodak smile,
A well placed wink,
her paper-thin, scrapbook skin
is all yours. i think this stanza could have more though i like the image of scrapbook skin

The rest left for the devils
that crowd her shoulders,
pick and caw at her carrion heart. would an 'and' at the beginning of this line help the flow?

It still feels like love,
or else,
the closest she will ever get.

bugger me, this is sad and enjoyable some of insights are good. i'd have liked to have seen 2nd stanza fleshed out a little more if just to be involved in the guilt or need that's building up.

thanks for the read Lottie.