10-12-2012, 09:02 AM
Thanks for sharing this piece with us musicalmyheart 
The style you used was interesting... the fragmented phrases called to mind a fragmented thought process, effectively implying a brokenness. I think at some points it got repetitive (for example, the two lines: "But you're sincere. // Genuine. Honest."; sincere - genuine - honest all practically say the same thing). As long as you don't try to overexplain things, it works
The style you used was interesting... the fragmented phrases called to mind a fragmented thought process, effectively implying a brokenness. I think at some points it got repetitive (for example, the two lines: "But you're sincere. // Genuine. Honest."; sincere - genuine - honest all practically say the same thing). As long as you don't try to overexplain things, it works
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?