Supine

[addy]

Welcome Lottie Looks like I'm late to the party

I really like the imagery you used. It's all very neutral and clean... I won't say sanitized, because it isn't, but there's a compulsive attention to detail that lends a kind of numbness to the scene. Not unemotional, but controlled. There's tension (despite the title being "supine"), while the sex part happens quietly as background noise.

Supine

I lay, supine, somewhere between faith
And infidelity.
Lip to lip I stole the toothpick from
Between your Scrabble tile teeth and i like the combination of toothpick and scrabble tile. As i said, there's a nondescript neutrality to it while being intriguing
whispered ‘trust me'.

I lied,
In the half moon, nail marked silence,
My fingertips cracked each vertebrate back.
A bubble wrap salute in time
with the
headboard
and the
wall. again, good imagery, and nice use of stuttered rhythm to suggest the action

I lay, unsatisfied, a tremor of This is afterwards, yes? Other than the tense shift, there's no overt break to suggest this. Unless you use the "I lay//" "I lied//" more overtly as standalone scene breaks
Impatience rumbling through my thighs,
shifting the bone white tectonics in my feet.

I lie, supine.