10-10-2012, 07:50 PM
(10-10-2012, 06:55 PM)Lottie90 Wrote: Supineconsidering there was no overt mention of sex, i found the piece pretty erotic, if sexually unsatisfying. i have no constructive feedback bar the small nit, loved the bubble wrap image for creating that certain sound.
I lay, supine, somewhere between faith not sure if the this first supine is needed, being so close to the title
And infidelity.
Lip to lip I stole the toothpick from
Between your Scrabble tile teeth and what a great image, (i presume they're like the blank ones)
whispered ‘trust me'.
I lied,
In the half moon, nail marked silence,
My fingertips cracked each vertebrate back.
A bubble wrap salute in time
with the
headboard
and the
wall.
I lay, unsatisfied, a tremor of
Impatience rumbling through my thighs,
shifting the bone white tectonics in my feet.
I lie, supine.
i like how i'm left thinking why did she fake it. tying it in with the title i wandered off into thinking of hookers.
good solid poem
thanks for the read Lottie.

)