10-06-2012, 07:32 AM
So, did it actually take three minutes to write it? 
I really like the ring of the second stanza and the way it's more suggestive than descriptive. My only critique is the punctuation. You could drop the commas from the end of the lines because the ending of a line is almost a comma itself when read and the ellipse looks a little untidy, just my opinion.
I find this really touching and sad and just the words 'December embers' really got.me.thinking. Embers of a fire show that something is alive and that something is dead or dying.
I really like the ring of the second stanza and the way it's more suggestive than descriptive. My only critique is the punctuation. You could drop the commas from the end of the lines because the ending of a line is almost a comma itself when read and the ellipse looks a little untidy, just my opinion.
I find this really touching and sad and just the words 'December embers' really got.me.thinking. Embers of a fire show that something is alive and that something is dead or dying.