Youth Club Disco

[Leanne]

I disagree actually. I quite like the long lines, I'd just like to see them smoothed out a bit. And I do love the internal rhymes, especially since they're not all perfect rhymes but there's some assonance thrown in there as well. If it was split up into couplets, some of that slightly manic feeling would be lost (but I could only be saying that because I've used similar styles in the past and enjoyed it)