The Last Muse

[rowens]

No regular meter then. I have a hard time with numbers, and with rhymes. Attention to stressed and unstressed writing distracts me and makes me think of numbers, as do rhymes; and I make obsessive and painful connections, like a crazy person. So I try to not do it. It's that along with the personal things I'm forced to associate them with that limits poems like that. Like here, I tried to make this for someone in the rhyming style they liked in their high school all those years ago, before they moved away. And I was chopping through with these irregular, stamped heroic couplets, that probably aren't as heroic as I had to live them out to be. I've lost a great deal of the concentration I had for traditional forms a decade ago. After a few more poems in my series I'm working in now, I want to try some more to fight things, and give other forms. I think that having to fight though might give more of a forced feeling again. Blank verses might be suiting. I get upset by set rhyme schemes. No offence to Leanne. By the way, I thought maybe she figured I was a foolish asshole, and decided to ignore me. I have so many old poems in the styles she seems to like, but I don't have access to them. This one was written only last year, after my cognitive abilites went astray. I don't know what the older ones are like anymore.

---

I think that, though this might seem cheesy too, I was trying to tell this person in the poem that I needed them in my life. To help balance me with the stability I sorely need, in life and writing. The subject comes from her, and her relations to astrology and alchemy. I have a hard time detaching myself from subjects. Hence the 'demonic' aspects I'm busy battling. Giving form to things that have no form. Making some things real; and locking some away.