World War 3

[addy]

I quite enjoyed this one Jolly figs. I thought it was evocative, and there's a fresh earnestness and passion to the voice you use.

You may view my life as perfect
and I do too , put comma here when I look at it
from the outside.
But in reality I view my world as a world war "my world is a world war" is not really a metaphor that works for me. it didn't really go anywhere
If something is perfect in my life
I somehow make it look like an
old decrepit dried up melting flower Reading the poem over several times, I realized that this image may be an unnecessary tangent. it's good on it's own, but it existed as one phrase that never really went anywhere. Better to just skip this and jump right into "decrepit house", a metaphor which immediately steals the focus anyway and which the poem expands more on
it looks and feels like an old abandon house
waiting to be demolished
to keep the underage kids away
from smashing my already shattered windows
and engraving anymore names to my wall of shame.
"Greg was here" is written all over I like this touch
as if it were some kind of cult.
Their digging their names into me
to show off to the new comers that decided
to explore my cave of disasters that
they were once there.
No one wants to be forgotten
but in my world, I am.

Thanks for sharing!