Nine Crows

[billy]

I never told you about the vulture
that cut the sun in half the day we met; should there be a comma after half?
its shadow paved my honest path
and I, with cracked feet and arid eyes,
blindly followed.

Did I mention the nine crows
that perch, sleep and dream of swimming just a suggestion but would this line work better at the end of the stanza?
on the valley's ascending power-lines
with the deep hum of late night television
soothing through their toes? toes or claws. either way i love the

I will tell your absent ears of the nights
spent picking blood from beneath my nails,
t-shirts drenched in the souls of innocents
granted by empty bottles under boughs
of perched vultures
that are not willing to fly for me, again

and how the crows are always there.

it has a lot of power, and a darker side, that said so has anything with word vultures in it . it feels surreal, as though the 1st person is using a memory in order to survive. some of the images are excellent, specially the 3rd stanza. it's worth a few more reads and i know i'll come back to this one. you didn't leave too much by way of suggestion or constructive feedback so this will have to suffice

thanks for the read.