one trick

[billy]

used to hang my hat              
on what I thought              
were good stories              
now, far from sober       you haven't used grammar so why start here, why not give them separate lines and lose the comma?       
but not that particular sick   how about italics as bold doesn't travel well should it be copied and pasted          
I see a singular              
well-worn tale          
             
      a different city              
      another bad-write woman              
      me, asleep again on the floor              
               
all floors everywhere reach the same height   it's clever and funny but it feels a little gimmicky.
               
still              
I am leading that same pony              
with lame knees              
through towns where my credit's no good              
               
too broke              
to buy even the shadow of a dazzle              
               
too weak              
to shoot that poor horse              
                                              
I first learned the retroactive lesson                
when I heard my paintings cry              
laid to rest too long  
dying              
but I loved them well enough              
to slam a four pound sledge    
through canvas    
sheetrock and security deposit

art is big enough              
to remove walls i like this as an image and as an insight. the painting alluding to the walls removal is solid. i'm sure it wasn't intended but the graffiti on the berlin wall comes to mind.
     
but life is not  
         
it's too small              
with its molehill desires             
making mountains of habit i like the reworking of an old cliche        
       
just steep enough              
to strip a gun from a mans hand    man's
               
making an old horse         this ties in well with the title and      
march on              
in misery

i like how you thought about the layout; it works for me. while the title and the content use a cliche of a rather large proportion, it's done so in a new way. and it's feels like that was the intent so it's good to go for me.

i like the line
not that particular sick

because it sounds like someone in denial. most of my scribbles about are really small nits to ponder. i enjoyed the piece a lot.

thanks for the read.