09-20-2012, 12:19 PM
This was a very, very enjoyable read. 
It wouldn't take much to fix the meter either. i agree that you might also like to try venturing to the more advanced critique forums... it could get nitpicky, but the more specific feedback you'll get would be very useful.
It wouldn't take much to fix the meter either. i agree that you might also like to try venturing to the more advanced critique forums... it could get nitpicky, but the more specific feedback you'll get would be very useful.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?