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09-20-2012, 10:43 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-20-2012, 10:47 AM by billy.)
(09-20-2012, 01:39 AM)rowens Wrote: I think it has a simplistic quality to it. A stripped down welcoming for someone to come visit, a simple visit for its own sake. When it says "berates the door" the first time, it feels like something complicated's being stuck in; but the second time it's said, it feels normal and casual as the rest of the poem. Once you've accepted that "berates", the lines like "then share your stories do" and "good company I lack" feel natural to the poem too.
thanks for the feedback rowen.
(09-20-2012, 07:16 AM)just mercedes Wrote: A pantoum, nicely done. Personally, I like an upset to the meter, I like it to be less predictable. This simple heart-felt longing for company suits the form well, almost hypnotic.
thank jm, at first i decided to iambs then changed my mind and went with a mixture. i did spend a while trying different themes and after the 1st verse of this one, went with it.
