09-18-2012, 06:15 PM
the only real constructive feedback is that i really like it.
I take the mirror from its place
and write on the wall behind us. i like how the 'us' is only you (you and your reflection) and a seeming alter ego.
the theme continues. the us in the penultimate stanza changes to two separate people and back again in the last stanza. (it's how i see it )
the dashes do hinder because i find myself thing about them instead of thinking about where the poems taking me.
a great solid poem
I take the mirror from its place
and write on the wall behind us. i like how the 'us' is only you (you and your reflection) and a seeming alter ego.
the theme continues. the us in the penultimate stanza changes to two separate people and back again in the last stanza. (it's how i see it )
the dashes do hinder because i find myself thing about them instead of thinking about where the poems taking me.
a great solid poem