09-11-2012, 01:05 AM
A poem like this works because it has the solid power of prose and the line breaks guide it, while it can swim through images and scenes with the logic of poetry.---I think what you want to do is give death and oblivion that profound aura of sorrow that dead people can't have. That the dead have pushed off past the point of no return; that everyone we care about will, and so will you. Depression is as horrible as death, but with sorrow there's still the feeling of life. And you're not being bleak, you're using death as a great motivator to live and create---and feel---now, before it's too late. I don't like to talk about technical things, its form and words work for me.