Versus

[billy]

This is a verse and not a fucking stanza – great opener.
why use six letters when five saves paper? this is now an ironic poem
I’d rather turn plough than stand in a chamber.

Agricultural language suits this bard
and poetry’s but a topiary art:
that’s what I gather from your cutting remarks.

I’m lower case type inhabiting the basement i like that you start the line with a cap
where jars and saucepans in haphazard placement
create an imperfect kind of enjambment i like this verse a lot, specially the last line

employed to collect red wine and sushi,
filter and ferment into something fruity –
that’s my trickle-down theory of beauty. nice carry through metaphor with this verse

Up in the loft they reach for eternity
while I’m beset by a sense of urgency;
the soles beneath my feet are burning me

as I commit each metre to memory more irony
stamping a legacy in ivory and ebony;
poetic justice now I’m out of energy.

a rant is a rant is a rant, and if it isn't it should be. the comparison 'twixt verse and non verse and the idiosyncratic stanza and verse works well though is very ironic in it's use. i love a good rant poem. the last line is a keeper and makes it a humorous rant (for me). while the meter is off in places it does suite the poems context. i did enjoy it

thanks for the read,