Tomorrow Is October For Me Too

[addy]

A bit cryptic, but thematically its strong. You've got a wonderful narrative voice. It was a great read

I put you in a sacred cup.
Like a child, I whine,
And cry, Not sure "cry" is a strictly necessary addition
For you.
Not old enough to drink:
To see into the eyes of a woman,
Grown, with pain.
What she tells me I cannot understand.

But I can understand well enough.
I am as young in pain as the child
They will not take to drink;
A pain as fresh, as the dead leaves each year,
After a glorious summer seen from the inside out.
Yes, from inside. interesting inversion of the image: faded summer, fresh fall

Because, I am the summer,
The sea;
The autumn, and its goblin's veil;
I am winter's cozy nook;
And springtime's drip Of Saviour's blood. I like this collection of imagery, although this last line didn't fit in as much as the others imo... it refers to a Catholic easter, but to what end I'm not sure. It ties back to the "sacred cup" at the beginning, but the rest of the poem seems more pagan and the title suggested an autumn leaning and not a spring one. Perhaps I am missing something

I am the child that lies within—
That even memories can't save
From the crooked spine
Of your blindness' path.
And you won't come to play with me. For me this is unfortunately the weakest line in the poem. You may need to rework this close... of course that's just my take