inspiration

[Ruth]

I like this piece Ruth. I realize this is serious critique, but I don't have a lot that I want to comment on. I like S3 very much. A few call outs:

"till the blank space is filled with words"

I would consider cutting "with words". While I like the repetition throughout the piece this feels unneeded.

"till the rasping of my pen on this page calms me"

I really love how you use sound with rasping here.

"instead
I lean into words, into the rasping of pen on paper, into the large letters curving across my page
here, in these words, I rest and close my eyes."

Here, however, I think the use of rasping loses its impact. I would consider cutting it and doing some slight rephrasing (you could potentially simply cut that phrase).

I thought the poem flowed nicely, and though I normally dislike writing about writing, I enjoyed what you did here. It's more about the relationship between the speaker and the unnamed person.

It's lines like these that elevate it:

"I write so I will not close my eyes, and lean back into that comfort
I write so I can leave without reassurances."

Thanks for the read.

Best,

Todd

thanks very much Todd, I actually didn't realize I'd repeated rasping - I must pay closer attention..
will try out your suggestions

thanks again,
ruth