08-22-2012, 04:40 PM
irony is irony and cliche is cliche. one doesn't need the other to exist. an odd cliche can be used to good purpose.
I am the snake
lying in ambush
if the above is cliche but what you wish to use it.
it doesn't negate the fact that
who can wait as long as it takes.
is redundant (doesn't need vocalising) the two lines below;
say the same thing
who carefully marks your paths
knows your failings,
there are more instances of the same, as well as some cliche that you wanted to use.
if you are brave and cut away all the stuff that adds nothing new to the poem, it would end up half the length.
that said the cliché would also become more apparent which isn't as good a thing as you think. the poems in there, drag it out screaming and show it for what it is.
I am the snake
lying in ambush
if the above is cliche but what you wish to use it.
it doesn't negate the fact that
who can wait as long as it takes.
is redundant (doesn't need vocalising) the two lines below;
say the same thing
who carefully marks your paths
knows your failings,
there are more instances of the same, as well as some cliche that you wanted to use.
if you are brave and cut away all the stuff that adds nothing new to the poem, it would end up half the length.
that said the cliché would also become more apparent which isn't as good a thing as you think. the poems in there, drag it out screaming and show it for what it is.