08-22-2012, 11:29 AM
Thanks all. I will rewrite this soon while the iron is hot. It was indented to be a. bit cliche(snake in the grass, aged king, long as it takes, king of the damned jungle. Maybe I should have made this irony a bit more campy as self-awareness since I'm already playing narrator. Addy, I was going for a light quick rant. I dont' want to burden it too heavily and lose the informal bitchiness or the original rant, but if it comes across as lazy to you I wil certainly tighten in. Accidental laziness is anathema. And finally "ten minute increments" covers the poem, the shock, and the hitting the "next" button to at least find a littkle something more friendly to the reader. But hey, you wre mine for several minutes no matter wheree I wanted to go. I really could have been worse. Indie's taken me some such p,aces a few times (sorry for the unsolicited name-drop dearie). But I will tighten up the verbiage. It started a s a ten minute rant befor I'd woken up fully last week. Still in process. Oh and btw the "better than the last comment" was for a few friends where I used to be almost alpha, but now I've become the sly snake aging snake just waiting for them.