Edges of the Wind (trying a form poem)

[Philatone]

hey ray.


i like the sonnet you have here. in general, i think you spice up the form with some more enjambment and finding ways to not end-stop your lines (e.g., all of your punctuation is coming at the end of your lines. finding ways to end sentences mid-line would make the regularity of the form a little less noticeable). some more-specific thoughts

Hiding in the corners of the evening,
sheltered by the edges of the wind,
searching for that something to believe in,
searching for the will to live again....this stanza, while it paints some nice images, has no subject and no verb---no semblance of a sentence. it sets a stage, but really that is it.

In the coldest corners of November
when Autumn seeks her shelter in the ice, ...very nitpicky, but I wasn't fond the "the". What ice? Why so specific? maybe a "his" instead would contrast the feminine "autumn" with the masculine "november" (you could also make it a "her", but then you could get into pronoun problems).
there I'll find a reason to remember,...don't need the comma
the beauty of the shadows cast at night.

Whatever the reason that you chose to give...til this point, the meter has been pretty good by my watch. this line, though, bumbles up a bit with "Whatever the" and the "that". could probably get rid of the "the"
up the empty beauty where you hide,...you did just use the word "beauty"
It was there i knew the reason that I lived capital "i". maybe "then" for "there"?
remembering the shadows cast inside.

But in the beauty of the ending day...more "beauty"?
on faithless tides i watched you slip away...."faithless tides" eluded me a bit

had to this a bit faster than I would have liked, but wanted to share some general ideas. hope one or two can help