08-21-2012, 07:26 PM
Thanks, Billy.
"that plods at funeral carriage pace". would 'along" smooth the line out ? I had "plods along" at one stage then took it out for same reason you'd like it in!I'm really not sure.
I think you might be right about the line break after the final visit line.
The final lines are meant to describe the journey of many of the white working classes - from The Mirror to The Sun to The Star but the capitals make it too obvious, I thought.
The subject is my mother. I'll maybe put her name in somewhere.
The poem describes my journey on the day of the funeral and also harks back to the last family visit. I don't say that we passed through Handsworth, Balsall Heath and Smethwick. My mother refers to them as examples of areas overrun by immigrants. Our children (and foster children) were reasonably young at the time and not that familiar with racist tirades - I don't think.I knew her views, of course, but because we had many black friends she's kept quiet on such matters. But she was dying, you know, she can be excused a last blast.
Ray
"that plods at funeral carriage pace". would 'along" smooth the line out ? I had "plods along" at one stage then took it out for same reason you'd like it in!I'm really not sure.
I think you might be right about the line break after the final visit line.
The final lines are meant to describe the journey of many of the white working classes - from The Mirror to The Sun to The Star but the capitals make it too obvious, I thought.
The subject is my mother. I'll maybe put her name in somewhere.
The poem describes my journey on the day of the funeral and also harks back to the last family visit. I don't say that we passed through Handsworth, Balsall Heath and Smethwick. My mother refers to them as examples of areas overrun by immigrants. Our children (and foster children) were reasonably young at the time and not that familiar with racist tirades - I don't think.I knew her views, of course, but because we had many black friends she's kept quiet on such matters. But she was dying, you know, she can be excused a last blast.
Ray
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.