My First One

[blackeagle]

hi blackeagle.

a lot of the poem is repeated, unnecessarily, so it can be made much tighter by removing that which has already been said in one form or another. after that you need to show us some images, picture of what you mean instead of telling us what you're doing

Hi billy,
Yep got it....Thanks for the feedback. This is my first one ever and these feedbacks are great..
Cheers