08-20-2012, 07:22 AM
leanne-
note taken on the past perfect and the last line; I agree. have an idea for a fix. that's plenty helpful! thank you
tec
i understand what you're saying on the ambiguity. specifically looking at the second case (though perhaps it has some relevance for the first case too), I don't think it's an issue of punctuation but rather an unclear subject (who is throwing the gravel). i will try to clarify it. i hope that will make the poem more of a success; thanks for the honest words. oh, and no worries about that double negative
bronte
i'm glad you liked the spoon! am looking at the last line; thanks for the time!
bragg- i hope to improve the 1st stanza; am giving thoughts to your other suggestions. thanks for the comment!
ray- i like the idea for the last stanza. am working around the car bit. appreciate your thoughts!
note taken on the past perfect and the last line; I agree. have an idea for a fix. that's plenty helpful! thank you
tec
i understand what you're saying on the ambiguity. specifically looking at the second case (though perhaps it has some relevance for the first case too), I don't think it's an issue of punctuation but rather an unclear subject (who is throwing the gravel). i will try to clarify it. i hope that will make the poem more of a success; thanks for the honest words. oh, and no worries about that double negative
bronte
i'm glad you liked the spoon! am looking at the last line; thanks for the time!
bragg- i hope to improve the 1st stanza; am giving thoughts to your other suggestions. thanks for the comment!
ray- i like the idea for the last stanza. am working around the car bit. appreciate your thoughts!
Written only for you to consider.