Because I Can

[billy]

sometimes we have a quiet spell and sometimes a poem gets passed over or ignored by accident (not on purpose )
OK I'm putting it in the Arse (pardon the pun). I still wanted real feedback, but the silence led me to believe it was in the wrong place.

Because I Can

It's hard to wake each day    
fighting to stay king    
of my proverbial jungle,           
hard to have reputation              
of any kind       
and as I fade              
from the faces present              
from the page              
and even from memory,            
do not assume from my silence      
that I'll relinquish rule      
and fall without a fight. needs a break or two in the stanza, the 1st stanza feels too vague to see anything solid. that said the forgotten part has an ethereal quality to it as though the first person is the text
              
Do not trust my words.              
Fading is a bitter business.              
I will write you into a corner              
and having put you there              
grope and molest your sentiment.              
I am the snake              
lying in ambush              
with no need to hunt,     lying in ambush is definitely hunting        
who carefully marks your paths              
knows your failings,           
who can wait as long as it takes. cliche
Welcome to the world where I am king              
where I punish you for trusting              
with each line              
with you            
still reading like it's leading somewhere              
like the ending will pull you through              
and then you'll pat my poetic back              
and say this one is better than the last   not quite so fast      
or at least it didn't make you sick,    
still throwing those hurt glances    
that search for reasons    
as if written upon my surface.    
              
I rape the reader because I can a very strong line and a good one          
in ten minute increments of anger. why ten minute increments?    
The act itself is a warning              
that comes too late              
comes after the fact. cliche  
Reading this line causes cancer.              
Reading this line soils your innocence. this in tandem wit the rape line works well     
Your well-worn paths, your pauses for breath              
your earnest anticipation              
all lead to an untimely ending.

i think i get what's being done though i'm not sure if it works. it's a novel idea, a talking poem or piece of writing that demands or threatens or explains it's power etc. (if it's not phrased well i'm sure you know what i mean? ) but it feels like it's lacking that spark that actually gives the thing life. i think it's the beginning that's letting the rest of the poem down. it tries to imbue something we know nothing off with something we know nothing about. i'd suggest trying to give some hint in that first two lines. a reference point, not too bad a read though. and doesn't need a massive edit.

thanks for the read and sorry for not replying sooner