Can't Let Go (was Well, here goes nuthin)

[Philatone]

hey yumbo!

Can't Let Go

To Dad, who threatened to take
the next bus to Milwaukee
and kill me...when on its own, this line strikes me more as an afterthought, and I really don't think it should
when I wouldn't reveal
where Mom lived.

To Mike, the company president
whose idea of telling me
I bored him
was to leave a gallon of
melting vanilla ice cream
on my desk.

To Mark, the team captain
who asked me if my
father's name, Dong,
was the Korean
equivalent
of Dick.

I don't want to die bitter
but my wild mind
trots out your offenses...do you need these first three lines? they are a bit summative. opening with something else may work wonders
and I mouth curses on you
and my heart becomes a
black and sour raisin....interesting image and I like it, but it makes the rest of the poem feel a bit flat. perhaps more imagery throughout could help balance things.

you have some ideas, and i'm not necessarily against the speaker sending messages to these individuals. That being said, the piece is lacking a bit of cohesion between stanzas. I'm not sure if the form of the lines themselves does you favors