08-16-2012, 08:31 PM
An excellent social commentary. I love the vein of dark humour running through it, and aside from L6 - 7 of verse three, which goes too long without a proper rhyme I think, there's no let up in the rhythm. I also really liked the "washing" simile in L6 of verse two. Your evocation of place is brilliant, creating a nightmarish satirical vision of modern England. Thanks for the read.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe