Can't Let Go (was Well, here goes nuthin)

[Wildcard]

Hi yumbo

For me this is wonderful as-is. I should warn you that I know very little about poetry, but just take my advice as a less-than-layman.

The last line hit me pretty hard. I am getting the feeling that this poem is about how sometimes it is so easy to dwell on the dark cards that people deal you. Those painful memories can overwhelm a person and pollute their thoughts with bitterness.

The title, 'Can't Let Go' supports that theory anyway

Billy already suggested making the title of the thread the same as the title of the poem, I just wanted to make sure you knew how:

Click this link (to the Serious Critique forum): http://pigpenpoetry.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=4

Scroll down and find your thread and then just click and hold the mouse until an edit box appears. When you are done press enter.

Of course, you don't have to edit it.

Maybe I got the wrong impression though.

Can't Let Go

--I like how you address several different offenders and their offenses and then address them as if they could somehow know that you (in the poem or really you- whatever) are thinking of them- or that they would care.

To Dad, who threatened to take
the next bus to Milwaukee
and kill me
when I wouldn't reveal
where Mom lived.

To Mike, the company president --This is such an odd scenario. I almost want to think you are being cheeky about something and I don't get it. You said it was a real life event, but it seems a little too odd for TV . . .
whose idea of telling me
I bored him
was to leave a gallon of
melting vanilla ice cream
on my desk.

To Mark, the team captain --Made me laugh on this one.
who asked me if my
father's name, Dong,
was the Korean
equivalent
of Dick.

I don't want to die bitter
but my wild mind
trots out your offenses --Is 'trots out' the right phrase? What about 'parades' instead?
and I mouth curses on you --For some reason I kept thinking that 'upon' would work better than 'on' here.
and my heart becomes a
black and sour raisin.

The close is the best. Very melancholy and I can personally relate to this last stanza whereas I couldn't relate as much with the earlier stanzas. That wasn't a negative for me- it created a little 'surprise connection' that gave me that sad little feeling inside and made my eyes water a little.

Thanks for sharing