Going to the Country -revised

Going to the Country -revised

penguin Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 171
Threads: 25
Joined: May 2012

#11

08-13-2012, 06:27 PM

You're a hard audience, Geoff. Too directive and too vague in the opening 3 lines!And there was me thinking the first two verses wereok. Ha-ha!I'm not so keen on betoken now - originally I had "figure the future". Does that make sense?
Yes, flatter is more correct.
Agree on "might be too" also.
Thanks, Geoff. It's good to get other views. I can't agree with the "preachy" comment. I've read many preachy poems and this has more subtlety, I think.

Ray

Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.

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Messages In This Thread

Going to the Country -revised - by penguin - 08-07-2012, 05:24 PM

RE: Going to the Country - by billy - 08-09-2012, 11:45 AM

RE: Going to the Country - by billy - 08-10-2012, 06:40 AM

RE: Going to the Country - by penguin - 08-10-2012, 11:15 PM

RE: Going to the Country - by billy - 08-11-2012, 08:38 AM

RE: Going to the Country - by addy - 08-11-2012, 08:51 AM

RE: Going to the Country - by penguin - 08-12-2012, 08:40 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by billy - 08-13-2012, 12:27 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by addy - 08-13-2012, 12:30 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by Philatone - 08-13-2012, 02:40 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by penguin - 08-13-2012, 06:27 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by Philatone - 08-13-2012, 11:35 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by tectak - 08-17-2012, 09:13 PM

RE: Going to the Country -revised - by penguin - 08-17-2012, 10:52 PM

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