08-10-2012, 11:15 PM
Thanks, billy. It changes tack around halfway, to be sure, though I don't see it as a rant at all. I wrote it on holiday a couple of years ago in the Forest of Dean on the day Gordon Brown called the General Election.
Most people have compared the 2nd half unflatteringly to the 1st!The 10th line is meant to disturb the idyll, so it does that, but perhaps could be put better. I think the 3rd verse could do with clarity, but the last verse I like. It asks some pertinent questions, is all.
I think I need "haunted" for the rhythm.
Ray
Most people have compared the 2nd half unflatteringly to the 1st!The 10th line is meant to disturb the idyll, so it does that, but perhaps could be put better. I think the 3rd verse could do with clarity, but the last verse I like. It asks some pertinent questions, is all.
I think I need "haunted" for the rhythm.
Ray
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.