Going to the Country -revised

[billy]

A half-ploughed field haunted, two tractors abandoned is haunted needed?
betoken the future. Agricultural labour
has paused for a cider and a piss in the ditch; great image
a puff on a pipe to turn matters over,
late afternoon slumber in the shade of a hedge. would and in front of late work better

Dappled light on a tree stump lends the appearance
of fairy enchantment or deer at a distance;
the cadence of branches, the rhythm of swaying,
melodious birdsong flatters the forest.
We bring children and dogs and note the discordance.

Fair-weather features are tacked to the borders,
defacing the country, they shall in their order
grow beards and moustaches, pimples and glasses,
be coloured in every shade of the spectrum;
but it’s crosses that count - the plight of the commons.

How long before birdsong becomes too intrusive
or passes unnoticed like shopping mall music
and trees, grown too tall for bowing and scraping,
are snatched from the breach between earth and its ceiling,
to groan for the good of the greater number?

it feels like it's trying to hard to give a message instead of just being a poem. the last stanza in particular. there are lots of really good imagery
the first stanza read and i felt i was in for a treat, but then it got it's sunday best on and spoke in a posh voice that was about the country and not of it, of course the title says it's about going to and not of the country.

We bring children and dogs and note the discordance.
sort of spoiled some of the poetical 2nd stanza.

in a sentence; it felt a bit ranty after the 1st stanza.

thanks for the read, sorry for not visiting it sooner