08-08-2012, 08:29 PM
hey indie 
regarding the comment on the second verse, i was just observing that its strange that a gun you often play with (that usually means you shoot it) is actually rusty from disuse. that image told a story... that the narrator toys with the idea but doesnt do the deed. I think its neat
as for the other comment, i do feel there is a contradiction in the narration. on one hand you say "its easy to pretend i'm not a weapon", but later you say "i remember...I'm not a weapon" (i'm paraphrasing). so for me the first person POV is inconsistent; either he genuinely believes ,that, or he acknowledges that he's fooling himself. Can't be both, unless I'm missing something. (heck i probably am )
regarding the comment on the second verse, i was just observing that its strange that a gun you often play with (that usually means you shoot it) is actually rusty from disuse. that image told a story... that the narrator toys with the idea but doesnt do the deed. I think its neat
as for the other comment, i do feel there is a contradiction in the narration. on one hand you say "its easy to pretend i'm not a weapon", but later you say "i remember...I'm not a weapon" (i'm paraphrasing). so for me the first person POV is inconsistent; either he genuinely believes ,that, or he acknowledges that he's fooling himself. Can't be both, unless I'm missing something. (heck i probably am
)
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?