Friable

[Ruth]

Two blistered sausages spilling
their stuffing over the sofa.
The yellow of an egg has run;
the sun is exiting the sky.
Burnt and brittle bacon, broken
by children full of beans.

Original

Two blistered sausages spilling
their stuffing over the sofa.
The yellow of an egg has run;
the sun has exited the sky.
Burnt bacon curled dark anger,
broken by children full of beans

oh yes! Dexter, one of my favourite shows. maybe you could add a blood orange image? ;-)

I like it, but the sun exiting the sky seems out of place, unless I'm missing something obvious, which is not uncommon. maybe sunbeams on an inside surface to go with the inside/contained setting?